Simply Walking Into Mordor: Part 1

By Tyler Socash
IG: @tylerhikes

"Respect the mountain, and it will respect you."  Hut Master John was asking us to tread both thoughtfully and carefully.  We would be entering sacred Māori territory, where respect is paramount.

Sitting at Mangatepopo Hut at 5pm, our day was allegedly over.  We had already completed the popular Tongariro Alpine Crossing, one of New Zealand's nine "Great Walks."  This is a *must do* if you ever find yourself on the North Island.  The traverse is about 17.5km long, and it'll be a walk to remember. 

Day complete!  We were up at 5:30am to cover the 1,100 meters of ascent.  We had already stowed our discount Halloween costumes away. (I dressed up as a sexy nurse most of the day.  Reyne was in a skimpy Superman suit, Bekah was a boisterous Batman, Kate was a beautiful ballerina, Sebastien was an elderly woman, and newcomer Dan wore his standard clothes.  Dan now goes by, "No Fun Dan.")  We arrived at the backcountry hut, consumed our instant noodles, and napped.

What more could be done on this day of tramping?  I was already looking forward to a game of Euchre at our campsite.  This game, as it turns out, wasn't in the cards tonight.  Did you see what I did there?  I italicized the idiom.

From 2001-2003, our world was rocked by the cinematic-adaptation of New Zealand's sensational history.  In The Lord of the Rings, we follow Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee as they attempt to destroy the One Ring in the very fires of Mordor.  Some people walk across New Zealand having never watched the trilogy.  This is fine, especially if you celebrate the 4th of July having never seen Independence Day starring none other than America's heartthrob, Jeff Goldblum.

It just so happens that the infamous "Mount Doom" from The Lord of the Rings is a towering 600 meters above and adjacent to the Tongariro Crossing trail.  Mount Ngauruhoe was used as director Peter Jackson's dramatic Mordor setting.  Tourists flock to Tongariro to see and sometimes to take a crack at summiting this iconic volcano.

At approximately 2pm, I strolled right by the trailhead of Ngauruhoe.  "Beware of Falling Rocks!" a sign warned.  "Beware of Pyroclastic Flow!" an interpretive sign signaled.  "If you hear rumbling, run!" instructed a temporary sign in section of recently destroyed trail.

These geological happenings seemed more sensational than realistic.  "Maybe Tyler is exaggerating his own tale just to keep me reading?" asks the reader.  "Perhaps these signs are posted for litigious reasons?" questions another.  "I think that the sexy nurse costume was a little over the top," complains a third. 

These fictious people may have a point.  Thank you blog readers for tolerating my writing style.  I think you are beautiful.  I hope brutal honesty is what you look forward to.  I feel very grateful to be out here right now, and I'm thinking of you all as winter's grip tightens back home in the Northern Hemisphere.  Will someone please throw a snowball or shovel an ice rink for me?  Sometimes I miss home while in New Zealand, the people... The places.  I love you guys.

On the ascent we walked by an impact crater caused by a 2012 side vent eruption.  Ngauruhoe itself last spewed lava in 1975.  As we climbed we saw thermal vents spewing sulfuric gases.  We heard the mountain rumbling from within.  Hyperbole intended, this blog post is about my best day on Te Araroa.  What a loquacious introduction!  Allow me to whisk you away into the Danger Zone...

At 5:30am I heard No Fun Dan bellow my name.  Sleep was hard to come by that night as the mosquitos were out in full force.  Waking up early was our only solution to our sun problem.  The ozone over New Zealand is thin.  Sun exposure has resulted in blistered hands, calves, and noses.  We hoped to get most of the tough climbing done before the summer heat escalated.

As the trail exited the bush and entered the alpine scrub, we began to experience the sights, sounds, and smells of geothermal activity.  I made a 12-egg dish with curry powder at our last town stop, which put me at the brunt of a few jokes as we walked by sulfuric vents.  Even the streams smelled pungent.  Steam rose from curious pockets around the mountain.  It was like Yellowstone.

Higher we climbed until reaching the recently abandoned Ketetahi Hut.  Only a few years ago, boulders were jettisoned from the Te Mari vent a few kilometers away.  One landed on the hut's roof.  Another left a large impact crater in the hut's front yard.  "This is what killed the dinosaurs," I jested.  No one laughed.  Too soon?

While having our early morning snack, we spotted our new best friends in the alpine shrubs below.  Two married couples, Americans Jer & Anna and Aussies Alex & Alex, (we call this trail family, "Couples Retreat") made their way uphill.  After some shouting back and forth, we surrendered to the pull of hiking and left before they arrived. 

Topping out at 1,750 meters, we understand why Tongariro is labeled a "Great Walk": the flat Central Crater contrasts with the towering peaks around it, Blue Lake glistens and blinds us, stark volcanic landscspe abounds, all while Mount Doom looms in the background.

Also, you begin to see hoards of people.

New Zealand's Great Walks are like American National Parks.  The main  attractions are manicured.  The infrastructure in New Zealand doesn't seem to impede upon the natural beauty, but surely more latrines and bigger carparks are needed.  The double edge sword of conservation... If you build it, they will come.  Once they come you hope they develop a visceral connection with the natural world, causing these visitors vote for conservation efforts that appear on the next ballot.  Rare alpine plants are going to get stepped on, wildlife is disturbed, but most of the time our temporary excursion into untrammeled lands is beneficial.  Inviting others to experience the trials of outdoor recreation is a necessary balancing act.  (This works as long as the Leave No Trace participants outnumber the Leave Trace participants.)

As the endless sea of northbound dayhikers approached us at Blue Lake, we changed our attire.

A week earlier Kate and Bekah encouraged us to purchase old Halloween costumes for fun.  They figured that we would maximize exposure during Tongariro Crossing due to the hike's popularity.  I figured that I could maximize exposure by choosing an ill-fitting nurse garment.  We were all correct.  Kate and Rebekah inject a tremendous amount of fun into the group.  Grabbing costumes was such a good idea.  We also donned them at our 1,000km marker a week prior to get more use out of them.  I think of Kate and Bekah as best friends.  I feel like we feed of each other's energy, and these Women in the Wild are quick to find humor in all situations.

It was memorable to trek in costume.  It was also memorable because the Tongariro Crossing views were so different to anything I've ever witnessed in my life.  Magical!  Unreal!  The Emerald Lakes were reflecting aquamarine colors, smoke billowed from underground, and the occasional rumble kept everyone on their toes. 

Scrambling up to Red Crater, we doffed our superfluous textiles and resumed the hike in standard clothes.  We ran up to Mount Tongariro to catch a view of snowy Mount Ruapehu, tallest mountain in the North Island.  We slowly made our way down to the South Crater, reconvened with the Couples Retreat, and happily ambled into Mangatepopo Hut.  This was already my favorite day of hiking on Te Araroa.  It felt great to be among friends, while also remaining far, far away from orks, ring wraiths, and the evil creatures of Middle Earth.

                               * * *

I'm sitting next to Jer on the deck of the hut at 5:01pm, when he suddenly turns to me and says, "So you want to give this a shot?"

"What?  Mount Doom?!" I sputtered incredulously.  The base of Ngauruhoe was 5km and hundreds of vertical meters in the opposite direction of our intended campsite.  From our bench, we were provided with a daunting view of the enormous volcano.

"Yeah, you know, I'm just thinking about cameling up with some water, taking my headlamp, and going for it.  You down?..."

I actually buried my face in my palms for a few seconds.  Others on the deck began to realize that Jer was serious. 

"...You know, travel light," Jer continued, "slack pack it, stash most of our stuff here at the hut, meet up with the gang around midnight 9km down the trail."

I actually busted out the Awesome Principle guys.  I ran through two scenarios in my head.  Then I vocalized the two fictional scenarios for everyone to hear.  I forced myself to choose the more awesome scenario.  "I'm in."

"Me too," chimed No Fun Dan, who was suddenly becoming Mo' Fun Dan.

Retracing our steps and summiting Mount Doom would add an additional 15km of rigorous tramping and over 1,000 meters of extra climbing to an already strenuous day.  "A pretty cool physical challenge," I thought to myself.

The commotion on the deck attracted the attention of Hut Master John, who is employed by the Department of Conservation to oversee that region of the National Park.  John heard our intentions and appropriately reminded us that our decision should be grounded in respect.  "In Māori culture it is said that we are gifted these lands," he stated in a compassionate manner.  I paused to listen with reverence.  You could tell that he loved this landscape.  Respect assured, Hut Master John gave us his suggesions for summiting successfully.

Our group could sense that climbing Mount Doom this late in the day would be risky.  Tension was palpable as other group members decided whether they should climb or hike onward.  Alex & Alex simply stared into each other's eyes.  Boy Alex, interpreting something that I could not see in his wife's gaze, suddenly blurted out, "Not doing it!"  I loved that.

With back-up plans and double secret back-ups plans in place, our group split.  If we weren't able to find their campsite 9km away from the hut by midnight, they should start to worry slightly.  If we weren't there by 9am the next morning, everyone was supposed to panic.

As our trail families left us, Hut Master John came over one last time.

"Tonight is supposed to be a very special night.  Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn are going to align."

"You see that guys!" No Fun Dan exclaimed, "The planets are literally aligning for us!"

Our plan was made: Get to Mount Doom.

Only there can it be unmade... (*Spooky music*)

TO BE CONTINUED... tomorrow, because I'm tired and it's late.